Love is a Choice

I used to think love was a feeling, this uneasy, unknown sensation in my stomach that made me want to jump into a void of space and flee in the other direction all at the same time. But somewhere along the past few months, I have been asked to love difficult people- people who wronged me, but still asked for love none the less. And I have started to realize something I already knew before, but now I am more aware of: love is a choice.

Passing Through the Eye of a Needle

Ever had a shift in perspective?

It almost comes about without

Any notice at all...

Like a slow blink-

One moment the world looks

One way,

And the next...

It's like new lenses

On a cloudy situation,

Like a head turning,

And in that moment

A distinct feeling of deja vu-

But not quite.

Because while the circumstances

Replay-

The view has vastly changed;

And the paradigm

With which one's life was once

Ordered

Has shifted into a new way of

Thinking-

A new understanding-

A shocking clarity

Has come about,

Like a breath of warm air,

And spring begins anew

After a long, cold winter

Far, far from home.

-Sarah Scholl
KC, MO
2009

A New Life

I'd like to say that this day marks some specific, special day in my life, but it does not. It is simply a day in which I found myself longing to start something fresh- to share a part of the journey I've been on for a little over a year. My hope is to find answers. I'm always asking questions, over-analyzing things, making a big deal out of little things- all in the pursuit of finding answers to questions that plague me and keep me awake in the dead of night. I have been tried and tested in many ways this past year and I know I failed over and over, but I still long for answers. I still desire to find God in unlikely places, because I still believe he holds the answers for which I am looking. I still aspire to find beauty in improbable situations, because that is where it is its most beautiful. I still have faith that I can find love and forgiveness in the hardest of hearts, because God can still work miracles. And I'm still searching for how I can grow and change on the inside. I want to know how I can love deeper, make mercy and grace ways of life, and forgive those who I feel have wronged me.

So here I am: ready to read Scripture, write poetry, find song lyrics that speak to my heart, and reach out to find the answers for which I'm looking. I invite you to join me and add in.

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." -George Iles