Hope Now

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter my from the storm

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

I am not my own
I've been carried by you all my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

You've become my hearts desires
I will sing Your praises higher
Your love sets me free
(Your love sets me free)
Your love sets me free
(You love sets me free)
Your love sets me free

-Hope Now
Addison Road


Note: This song has been one of so much encouragement to me over the last two years especially. God does not abandon us when we make the hard decisions that life hands us. I truly believe that when we try and make our lives more about him and less about ourselves, even if we screw it up royally in the process, God still loves us and calls us to him and sets us free from our burdens and pains.

Ambulance

i need an ambulance.
i took, i took the worst of the blow.
send me a redeemer.
let me know if i'm gonna be alright.
am i gonna be alright?
'cause i know how it usually goes.
i know how it usually goes.

i built a monument
for the love we used to know.
but that is far removed,
and you say that i'm gonna be okay.
and yeah, i'm gonna be okay.
but it doesn't seem that way.
no love, not today.

'cause i was told to get out
told to leave
told i have my things in the parking lot.
no no no no no no no no no, baby
yeah, just send me that ambulance
oh, just send me that ambulance.

oh woah, ohohoh, no oh x2

thought you were made for me
and we shared our history
and in time you'll tear your eyes far away.
like a rubbernecker's gaze
is it really safe to say
that we're just made that way,
made to brave the pain?

'cause i was told to get out
told to leave
told i have my things in the parking lot.
no no no no no no no no no, baby
yeah, just send me that ambulance
oh, yeah, just send me that ambulance.

oh woah, ohohoh, no oh (x2)

i need an ambulance.
i took, i took the worst of the blow.
send me a redeemer.
let me know if i'm gonna be alright.
am i gonna be alright?
'cause i know how it usually goes.
i know how it usually goes. 




Ambulance
-Eisley

Brightly Wound

It's happening all the time
When I open my eyes
I'm still taken by surprise
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies
And it makes me want to cry

I love you
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

We were walking there
And I had tangles in my hair
But you make me feel so pretty
You have shining eyes
Yes like those forest lights
And it makes me want to cry

I love you
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

I love you
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

This place is so lovely
It kind of makes me very happy
Let's go far away to the humming meadow

To the humming meadow
To the humming meadow


Brightly Wound
-Eisley






Note: So, the last few days have been ones of serious transition for me. I've started a new job and I will be looking at a new place to live tonight. Eisley's calming, off-beat, chill music has been a comfort in the midst of much chaos. 

The Heart of the Matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

The Heart of the Matter

-Don Henley

One Day I Slowly Floated Away

One day I slowly floated away
One day I slowly floated away
All the war horses wore rubber bands
to hide their hooves from sinking sand
The commander in charge was hoping that
The destiny was not to die

Wake up in the morning I shall
Wake up and so shall you
And I wake up, the sun is beautiful
And it is warming you and I
Fragile as we lie

Hard to foresee the future
Our bodies were growing thin
Glimpsing the peeling paint of
The nurse's ivory chain
You've got a lot of nerve coming here
Your eyes are beating rhythms way
Faster than the speeding bullet that
took the life of your radio

Wake up in the morning I shall
Wake up and so shall you
And I wake up, the sun is beautiful
And it is warming you and I
Fragile as we lie

And in the corner chair
soft and soap-scented
my darling cries apologies
We foresee the mercy
That's been shown my young limbs
Will not go unthanked or unseen

Wake up in the morning I shall
Wake up and so shall you
And I wake up, the sun is beautiful
And it is warming you and I
Fragile as we lie

oooh, ahhhhh
oooh, ahhhhh

-One Day I Slowly Floated Away

Eisley

One of These Days

I didn't notice
But I didn't care
I tried being honest
But that left me nowhere

I watched the station
Saw the bus pulling through
And I don't mind saying
A part of me left with you

So one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
'Cause that's where I'm home…oh

Did I make you nervous?
Did I ask for too much?
Was I not deserving one second of your touch?

And one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
'Cause that's where I'm home… oh

What would you do if I could have you?
oh if I could
i'd let you feel everything I'm thinking
Wouldn't that be nice?

And one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you

-Michelle Branch

One of These Days

16 April 2010

I'm not sure how I arrived at this conclusion, but I do remember making a series of mental, quiet choices that led me here. I do remember finally saying, "okay, this is what I have to do; this is how I have to let go." I am always restless and therefore always feel like I'm waiting on someone else. it's tiring and exhilarating at the same time. And just today, I have made the final choice of freeing the weights from my heart. No more expectations, no more holding on to things I cannot change, no more trying to force things to come together as I will them to. No more. Oh, I'm sure I will have to make this choice again and again, but for now, today on this day, I am choosing to let go. I don't know what that means for tomorrow. I can't even think of tomorrow, beyond getting up and trying to live as best I can. That's all I have to give right now. Just as I am- Just today- no more, no less.

I want to create a better person. I want her to be beautiful- in every way. I don't know how to get there, but I want to try and let God have his way. Nothing else has worked. He's all that's left. And maybe that's the best part in all this. Some people see God in the small ways and allow him to work. And some, like me, need all the trappings of this world to fade away before our whole focus is on the One it should have been on all along.