Reflective

The changing seasons always make me reflective. As the air turns from warm and sticky to cool and windy or the first smell of spring drifts in on the cold tentacles of winter, I look to the sky and search for meaning in the changing of times. I realize I have lived, and yet on most days it seems like the world has passed me by and I forgot to make an impression on the time that was given to me. So many of my days find me surrounded by people, noise and commotion and on the ones where the silence assails me, I always have to adjust and remember how to embrace it. I love the solitude. I love the rest that comes from being alone. But I always forget until I have stumbled into it.

And so... today as I have transitioned into silence, since I have spent the day with myself, I remember the joy of being with others and the fact that God calls us to commune not only with him, but the reason he has put us on this earth with others is to connect and be with them. As someone who finds herself restored while alone, there is something to be said for establishing deep, resourceful friendships, relationships and ongoing conversations. So, today, I challenge myself to create these "ships" in order to design a fuller, more complete human being. What I'm suggesting may not seem like much to some. To create new friends comes so easy to some and I used to be like them. But after it seems as if the whole world has turned away, it makes trusting a little bit harder; it makes sharing with others difficult. So, I have to think on how to do it. I have to remember what it is to be in relationship with others.

I have attached a collage I made. There are still spots open. There are still spaces in my life that need to be filled. All of the people in this collage are people who I hold close to my heart and long to have relationship with. Some are in my life still and some are not. For some the fact that they are no longer in my daily existence is a good thing; for some it is the outcome of circumstances I wish could be different. Regardless, the people in those pictures have impacted my life in some way- in some unique way. Each of them holds a lesson that I have learned in this life of mine, most in the past couple of years. So... I leave spots open. For those who have yet to come, for those who are on the precipice of my life- I leave blank spaces for them to fill... for new memories to be made....