"'If you could only see what I see,' says the Lord, 'you would trust me a whole lot more and worry a whole lot less.'"
A friend struggling as her husband lives apart from her and her five children for months, for the sake of a job.
Snow falling on the first day of spring.
A friend without a job who now seems happier without the stress, but is unemployed.
A mother and father who don't understand the decision to be happy that their grown daughter makes.
A dog who opens doors and escapes into the winter-wonderland.
A relationship that ended on the first day of Lent. ("What will I give up for Lent, Lord?" "Him.")
An apology in response to temptation. ("Maybe you weren't the one God was testing.")
"If you could only see what I see,' says the Lord, 'you would trust me a whole lot more and worry a whole lot less.'"
I don't understand how God works and as life continues on, I'm not sure I'm meant to. The way He works is so different than the way I think, so I'm not sure. Is this because I'm fallen? Is my faith simply being stretched and grown as my ways of thinking and acting change, as I become more aware of how God works? All I know is that in many situations recently, I have the strange feeling of only knowing part of the story, seeing only some of the solution. Part of me, (the recovering control freak) is annoyed by this power play. Some nights, I rant and rave at God in my head because I don't understand. Some days, I get so angry because I don't see the whole picture. I don't know what he's up to. I still don't trust him. I feel like I'm on this spider web, stuck on one tenuous sticky thread. I can't really see the rest of the web and how all the strands come together to make up the whole. But God does. God sees the whole web. He sees how we are all interconnected and even when I might feel stuck, he's not a big giant spider who is going to eat me. (yup, I went there.)
I mean, if you think about it, my lack of trust is about as absurd as thinking God is a big spider who will eat me in its web. The One who created me, loves me, knows every part of my being, the scared place, that spot in my soul that I don't allow anyone to see (that everyone has)- he knows it. And what's more, he loves me because of who he is.
"If you could only see what I see..." I wish I could see. I wish I could understand. But something tells me, I'm not supposed to. Not right now, at least. My trust isn't strong enough. And God is God. He doesn't have to explain to me. But he is full of mercy and grace and he can say, "Please just trust me that I know what I'm doing- and stop worrying already!"
So, that is my prayer: That my friend who misses her husband and the husband that misses his wife and kids, could see what God is doing and that soon, the house will sell, a new house will be discovered, new schools will start and new church and friends found... That spring is under all the snow, waiting to bring forth it's glorious newness when the time is right... That the right job is waiting... That the grown daughter is happy and has found love again, even if those who are closest to her can't see it... That the dog... yeah... there's no prayer for the dog... That the relationship will move forward to friendship... That the apology will bring continued honesty between two people... and most of all... That God will be trusted to bring about the results he knows are best... even if it's not what I understand or think is best at all.
A friend struggling as her husband lives apart from her and her five children for months, for the sake of a job.
Snow falling on the first day of spring.
A friend without a job who now seems happier without the stress, but is unemployed.
A mother and father who don't understand the decision to be happy that their grown daughter makes.
A dog who opens doors and escapes into the winter-wonderland.
A relationship that ended on the first day of Lent. ("What will I give up for Lent, Lord?" "Him.")
An apology in response to temptation. ("Maybe you weren't the one God was testing.")
"If you could only see what I see,' says the Lord, 'you would trust me a whole lot more and worry a whole lot less.'"
I don't understand how God works and as life continues on, I'm not sure I'm meant to. The way He works is so different than the way I think, so I'm not sure. Is this because I'm fallen? Is my faith simply being stretched and grown as my ways of thinking and acting change, as I become more aware of how God works? All I know is that in many situations recently, I have the strange feeling of only knowing part of the story, seeing only some of the solution. Part of me, (the recovering control freak) is annoyed by this power play. Some nights, I rant and rave at God in my head because I don't understand. Some days, I get so angry because I don't see the whole picture. I don't know what he's up to. I still don't trust him. I feel like I'm on this spider web, stuck on one tenuous sticky thread. I can't really see the rest of the web and how all the strands come together to make up the whole. But God does. God sees the whole web. He sees how we are all interconnected and even when I might feel stuck, he's not a big giant spider who is going to eat me. (yup, I went there.)
I mean, if you think about it, my lack of trust is about as absurd as thinking God is a big spider who will eat me in its web. The One who created me, loves me, knows every part of my being, the scared place, that spot in my soul that I don't allow anyone to see (that everyone has)- he knows it. And what's more, he loves me because of who he is.
"If you could only see what I see..." I wish I could see. I wish I could understand. But something tells me, I'm not supposed to. Not right now, at least. My trust isn't strong enough. And God is God. He doesn't have to explain to me. But he is full of mercy and grace and he can say, "Please just trust me that I know what I'm doing- and stop worrying already!"
So, that is my prayer: That my friend who misses her husband and the husband that misses his wife and kids, could see what God is doing and that soon, the house will sell, a new house will be discovered, new schools will start and new church and friends found... That spring is under all the snow, waiting to bring forth it's glorious newness when the time is right... That the right job is waiting... That the grown daughter is happy and has found love again, even if those who are closest to her can't see it... That the dog... yeah... there's no prayer for the dog... That the relationship will move forward to friendship... That the apology will bring continued honesty between two people... and most of all... That God will be trusted to bring about the results he knows are best... even if it's not what I understand or think is best at all.
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