Moving On...

There is a stark contrast in the time of moving on from a marriage versus a relationship. The memories of "getting over it" with the marriage still sometimes linger. It's been months- years... and yet, just a few days have passed and I already feel my heart healing and moving forward to the future. And sometimes, I long to cling to the heartbreak and the familiarity of the past. And I realize, I just can't do that. Life isn't about looking behind. It's about looking ahead and around. I don't want to "get over it," but I know that I must. To give up one of the first very real glimpses of true happiness I've had in a long time has been hard. To realize that trusting another means that there is a very real possibility I will get hurt, has been a difficult lesson to accept. I always knew it and made it so I would never have to yield to it. But now, as I have promised myself I would learn to trust God, I know it means trusting others as well. It means understanding that people make choices that might not be what I want. And it means letting go of my desire to control and simply being okay with the fact that things don't always go the way I think they should. Or the way I want them to. And that in and of itself has been a very good thing to learn and consent to.

Winter is fading. My soul is coming out of hiding. With the sun, the warmth and the more frequent glimpses of heaven, I feel like I can breathe again.

"The hardest part of moving on is not looking back."