Blessings

Well... it's an anniversary of sorts... Yesterday marked one year from the time I began this blog. Interesting journey... (read the dry wit I'm trying to infuse into the words) I remember that night, sitting on my bed, restless, lonely, aching and feeling at the end of my rope... I was at the end for a long time and just tied a knot and hung on. And the next few months felt like a dizzying drunken (metaphorically of course) out of control attempt to correct the way life was going. But you've all read about it... I don't need to rehash it here. Today is more about musing on where I have ended up. Today is more about smiles and sunshine and new beginnings. I remember saying that life was different after I wasn't with him anymore... not bad, not good, just different. And now... it's different again, but in such an incredible way. My prayer for the last couple of months was that God would show me how I needed to be ready to face new things in my life. After months of change, to actually have positive change and recognize it for what it is, is a big deal. And change has arrived: good change. Change that makes me into a better person. Oh, the change I went through... I'm a better person for it, for sure, but that's not what I'm talking about. This is different change. This... brings a soft smile to my lips. This... is the kind that makes my best friend say, "Whoa, I haven't seen you happy like this in a LONG time." This... feels like a blessing- the kind that God has been waiting to give me. And it's not just about one person or one situation. It's the culmination of different choices to be a different person and praying that in the end all the hard work I did will make the future a more remarkable place. I don't feel like I'm explaining it well- using the same words over and over.. But I'm not sure I need to. I know that life is changing again and I really like it. I know life is in a positive place and that I'm still leaning on the everlasting arms for all my answers and it really feels like this direction I'm headed in is the one he wants me to go down. We'll see... but I do know, I can hope, and pray and in the process... I'm learning to LIVE again!